First Grade Stalkers

 

It looks like Andy got his wish.

Poor Green.  He has become the target of 6 year old girl love.  Last year he was the target of Kindergarten girl love and at one point he actually had a couple of girls fighting over him.  This year it has morphed from love to stalking and he is NOT pleased. Everyday this is what he says when I pick him up from school:

RM1: Hey Green, how was your day?

Green: Stupid! These girls won’t leave me alone and they keep trying to hold my hand! They say the LOVE me and they [the girls] want me to be their boyfriend! I mean I am a boy and I am their friend but the rest is just gross!

What annoys me the most is that he is not exaggerating.  I have been to his school and these little girls are not kidding around.  I had one little girl last week ask me if I was Green’s mom, when I said yes she informed me that she is going to be his girlfriend.  Excuse me? You are six.

I am not sure what the hell is going on but since when do First Graders have romantic relationships? Why do they even want to?  When I was six boys were gross, girls had cooties and we spent our days until about 5th Grade avoiding each other like the plague.  When I was a kid and we had to partner up, all the girls were partners and all the boys were partners and if there was one girl and one boy left over then they would be subject to recess humiliation.  That has been the way of the schoolyard for generations.  Now all of the sudden these girls are all fighting over who gets to be my kid’s partner so they can hold his hand? I don’t think so.

The newest Disney star!

So I cannot believe I am saying this and becoming one of those parents who blame shit on TV but here it goes: I blame those stupid Disney and Nickelodeon pre-teen angst crap TV and the idiot parents who let their 6 year old girls watch it.  I have seen some of these shows and all I can say is WTF?  First of all the girls are all half naked wearing more make-up than a San Francisco drag queen on a Saturday night. All they do on these shows is kiss, try to kiss, talk about kissing and fight over boyfriends. My beef with it is that actual teenagers don’t watch this shit; that is not their demographic.  It is 6-11 year old girls that it is marketed to and that is sickening.  

These girls now think that elementary school is all about having boyfriends and holding hands and kissing and fighting over boys and I wonder as a woman is this what we have reduced our girls to?  The feminist in me wants to run down to the Disney studios and slap them upside the head for teaching our girls to be whiney, insecure boy obsessed maniacs by the ripe old age of 6.  Is there some reason that it is now not cool to let your kid be a kid? Since when are we all fast tracking our kids into puberty?

So let me give the moms of little girls out there some unsolicited advice: keep your little girls being little girls as long as possible. Disconnect the cable and Netflix Little House on the Prairie for them. I have a teenage girl and I can tell you I would give anything to have her be a little girl again; she liked me then and she was nice. Trust me when I tell you that teenage girldom is nothing to rush towards, if I could skip it I would!  Truthfully Teenage Girldom is a living hell and I will be the first to say that there is nothing fun about it. 

Our kids are only kids for a little while and they  have the rest of their lives to be adults.  I look at my kids and I have only this small window of time with them while they are little and then it’s gone. I am in no hurry.  Princess is getting ready to fly out of my nest and the last thing I need is to have my little Green telling me about who is trying to be his girlfriend this week.  

So this morning I did his hair and I told him that his hair product was “girl repellent” and he told me to put extra in.  I love him.

~RM1